Growing and Maturing

Kyle - Newark, Ohio
Entered on January 9, 2009
Age Group: Under 18

As I grew up I had a pretty hard life. Not the kind of hard lives that while kids are growing up they think their parents hate them. Literally my dad abandoned me and my mom truly did dislike me. I never thought so because I thought that was how every kid was treated but my mom’s sisters have pointed it out to me that she does not like me. My philosophy growing up was I wanted to help people out as much as I could no matter what it would take. I came up with the idea that kids were sometimes sheltered from the harsh real world, I would be as mean as possible, not to actually be mean but to show them that not everything and everyone in life is as easy going and easy to go by as their parents. One night during meditation I realized that by doing this I had completely conformed to what the world was. This made me hate what I had become so I decided it was time for a change. I now try to encourage others because I realize that not all people react to one form of reinforcement the same. Some people need you in their face yelling at them and some need a little nudge of encouragement for them to try harder. Something else that really changed in my life was god being in it. I grew up in a Christian home therefore that was the only religion; I was never indulged into any others. I rebelled against my mom and God as much as possible. I thought Christians were judgmental, narrow minded, and very ignorant to the world around them. I did not agree with the fact that God was our father but yet never took care of us when we were in need. Through all that I went through in my childhood I thought that God had forsaken me. Just in the past month I have realized that everything is in his timing not my own. Everything I have gone through has taught me a valuable life lesson and matured me as a person. I have spoken to police officers on different occasions because that is what I aspire to be when I am older and they all say that they would be honored for me to join because of my maturity level. That was a light that clicked in my head and made me realize that everything I went through made me who I am today and that someone I am pleased with. Back to God, to some he may be a religion, but to me he is my core belief, he is the person, thing, being that I believe makes the world tick. To end off this essay one thing that has stayed a constant my whole life is the fact that I will do my best in school and for my career because it is the one thing I myself can completely control. Maturity comes with experience, knowledge, and strive.