I believe life has no inherent meaning. Ha, I know, pretty dismal. I thought so too that night warm Missouri night lying in my bedroom. As I let my mind wander, and consider those ideas that get lost in the day to day task of living. I wondered what was the purpose of life? And more selfishly, what was my purpose? And then came that thought, well what if life doesn’t have a purpose? It scared me, because then what is the point in living? And then out of nowhere I hesitantly thought, perhaps, I define the purpose. Ah, I said out loud. I brought the entire idea together; Life does not have an inherent purpose, and that frees me to choose my own path. My life was not set in stone, forces may guide me, but at my core, I controlled what was truly me. It was at that moment that I saw the world as I see it now, that I truly create my own destiny.
The belief shifted my life in profound ways. I decided to define a purpose for myself. I chose to seek fulfillment, to truly understand that greater reality that lies just outside of perception. I quickly realized that this was not a destiny with a reachable goal. I could never understand all the mysteries of the universe, but then, nor would I want to because life would become unbearably boring. I came to believe that I have to enjoy the journey, and let the finish come as it may.
As I live out my self-defined purpose I realize for every answer I chance upon, another question arises. This used to frustrate me not into anger, but into dismissal. I saw the question as initially unanswerable and threw it out of my mind. Now I realize that in every question one can find truth, even if the question remains unanswered. As I grow in this new way, spiritually I suppose, I find a wealth of new ideas to consider and it fascinates me. My journey is just beginning and a great many discoveries lay ahead, but I can fulfill my destiny, a destiny of my own creation. This, I belive.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.