Feel So Small

Abigail - Maryland Heights, Missouri
Entered on December 19, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

Everything is relative and compared to other things, especially in today’s society. I am taller, shorter, fatter, and thinner than someone else. I am different from everyone else and no one else is like me. In a world with 6.7 billion people, I am only one, but without me, I believe the world would not be the same.

I had not realized how big the world is until I went to the Teton Science School in Kelly, Wyoming in 8th grade. I was with my classmates and teachers for a week in the mountains to learn about The Grand Tetons’ ecosystems. After leaving there I had not only learned about science, but I had also learned about myself. We went on a night hike one cold evening in the mountains and could see all the stars. As I lay down in the snow, looking up at the night sky, I felt so small and insignificant. The world felt so big and I could not understand why I made a difference, but I know I am important. After leaving Wyoming, I did not feel the same as I had before I had gone.

The minute my classmates and I got on the bus, many of them rushed to their cell phones and called their friends back home. This angered and saddened me because I did not want that week to end; we still had a 24 hour bus ride back home and I wanted it to last. While in the mountains that week, everything thing amazed me; the sunrises and sunsets, the plants, and the animals, everything. I could not understand why my friends did not feel the same way I did, or maybe they did, but they just did not show it. They went right back to their daily habits of talking to friends at home. I know that I wanted to change myself after that week. I wanted to be a better person even though I am only one in a billion, but I am one in a billion because there is no one like me. I am only one person and I know that my beliefs, thoughts, and feelings are my own.

I believe in being present in the moment and remembering those moments. From my experience in the Tetons I have a greater appreciation for nature and a better understanding of myself and what I can do. Though I have felt insignificant and I know that in the scheme of things I am, I have learned that it is okay to feel that way.