Life isn’t about sitting around and holding grudges against people, it’s about learning to forgive in a situation that grudges won’t change anything. Many people say, “Why forgive?” or “They don’t deserve it”. When really when it comes down too it forgiveness can help change a person, and help them believe they can change. I believe every person in this world should have forgiveness at one point in life.
“Ring…Ring…Ring” is the sound that replays in my head that night when I got the phone call. A nauseous feeling grew in my stomach when my mom walked into the room, and it hit me like a ton of bricks that something went wrong. That night was the night I found out my best friend had been killed. I could only ask questions like, ‘Why?” “Who did it?” “Did they catch him?” and “Is he in jail?” None of these questions could be answered because we knew nothing except that her body was found lying on the side of the road, she died instantly. I Hated the person who would leave a teenage girl lying on the side of the road like road kill and not even check to see if they could have a possible chance to save her.
Our family and friends went on for a year not knowing what happened until the day he confessed. On the day we heard he was caught it brought relief to me. The hatred swelled in my mind and body wanting to hit this guy, and tell him what he took from us. When this went to trial I couldn’t stand looking at this man, and not think of one bad thing to do to him. He took a life from this world that meant a lot to me and I will never get her back, and yet he still gets to live his.
A few months ago Makayla’s mom asked me to write a letter to the judge to help him make the final decision. While writing I wasn’t allowed to write about all the bad things Smithy had done, or how I felt towards him. Doing so it helped me make the decision that hating him and holding a grudge wasn’t going to bring Makayla back. It wasn’t worth my heart aching over this guy, so I had to let myself let go of the grudge. Deep down there is a piece of me that is angry for what he did, but in the end I still have the memories of Makayla and cherish them as if she were still here.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.