This I Believe

Nichole - North Port, Florida
Entered on December 18, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: death

Heartache is a natural occurrence in the lives of every human being. It’s happened before and it’ll happen again. Yeah it always hurts for a while and I shed tears the first few days and sometimes when I think about it for too long, but life goes on and eventually I’ll forget to think about it…and then one day my life will end. It’ll all be over.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. My heart’s been broken and I might not have the reason why but I don’t desire one either, because I know there isn’t anything I can do about it now.

I honestly thought that we were meant to be, but if we were, things wouldn’t have turned out like they did. And I know I could waste my thoughts thinking about “what should have been”, but obviously it’s not what’s meant to be because it isn’t what is. And if I was asked, “what’s the point of thinking like that?” I know my answer would be, “there is no point”. So I don’t bother.

He’s happy and that’s all I ever wanted. So I’m happy as well.

“I’ve cried a lot, and my tears have mostly been over a broken heart. Each time I cry I feel like it’s the worst moment of my life, but if it was, then the next time my heart is broken, it would feel better, not worse.

Like heartache, crying is also a natural occurrence in life and because I’m not a hypocrite I will admit that the next time my heart is broken I will most likely cry my eyes out for a few days…but eventually the tears will stop, I’ll be okay, everything will be fine, and my life will be trying to get back to normal as my heart heals.

Heartache, reasoning, what should be, and tears…to me, when I break it all down, none of it matters. But each is a part of life and they can all tie into each other as well as other parts if life, but from my perspective, none of that matters either: it’s all just there and I’ll go through it countless times until I die.

Death.

Death is the first and most important reason why none of it matters because I’ll spend a few years alive, but I’ll spend an eternity dead.

All the crap I take in my life won’t matter in a hundred years. The pain and heartache, the tears I shed, the reasoning behind it- nothing even close to a memory. It won’t matter how many times I’ve lied, how many times I’ve screwed up, how many times I’ve wished for a way out other than death…because death is the imminent end of life.

And so because of death, I believe that heartache, reasoning, what should be, tears, life, and everything in it doesn’t matter, because in the end…I’ll die and it’ll end forever.