I was brought up in a very conservative Christian home with conservative Christian parents. My entire life I have been drilled with “facts” about God and answers to some questions that I now feel cannot be answered. I was being told what to say, how to act and what to think. I believe in free choice.
Recently I ended my relationship with my two-year girlfriend. After the shit hit the fan a lot of things became visible. One in particular was the realization of the hold that this girl’s family had on me. I had gotten phone calls and texts from her mom wanting to talk to me. Her sister was sending me emails, and her aunt is still sending Facebook gifts and Myspace comments. This was just another attempt for them and others to fill my mind with what they wanted; also similar to the thoughts that were placed in my head from the beginning of the relationship. The ideal thought of love and the way to treat someone were only a couple of ideas in my head that weren’t actually my thoughts.
Along with this break up came thought after thought of new ideas, ideas that might have meant nothing in the past. These were ideas of relationships, love and religion. In the past religion was a major part of my life. Part of me was defined by religious views and practices. But now that I am not being force fed answers I realize that religion itself only promotes a group of people to act in unison because of what a few people told them to be true. It used to be that if you asked me a question I probably would have gotten my answer somewhere out of the bible. Now I no longer feel like the bible has the answers due to the position I was put in. However, I am at no means about to rule out the bible as truth, but as of where I am now I do not have the knowledge to answer the question of the bible being true or not.
But possibly the most important so far is realizing that it is unethical to force your ideas and views on someone who is unwilling. I see this as quite possibly the most disrespectful act one person can do to another, putting yourself and your views above everyone else. I believe in freethinking and self-exploration. But most of all, I believe in free choice.
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