I believe in enjoying the moment. I believe in not forgetting the past. . When I was a child, like everyone else, I could not wait to grow up. I just wanted to be like all the adults I’d seen. Now that I’m older (relatively) I realize what a foolish dream this is.
When I look around my room, I see much from my life. I have shelves filled with everything from preschool sand art to cross country awards. I have games, and music, and all sorts of other stuff. (And yes, I know where it all came from.) Most of the time, looking at all my stuff, I’m pretty happy. But occasionally, when I am looking around, it can get pretty depressing, thinking about how much of my life is already gone.
And I think to myself, I’m going to change. And I try. But it’s not easy, trying to suddenly turn around and reorganize your life and live better for it. But it just makes me try, all that much harder. And for the most part, it’s working.
I guess, what I’m trying to say is, you can’t ever give up what you have had, any more then you can give up the present. When my dog died in September, I was sad for two reasons. Besides the obvious one, I was really upset,, because now matter how much time you spend with somebody, it will never seem like enough. So I became determined to change. While the tendency might be to lean towards instant satisfaction, abandoning one thing in favor of another, pretty soon, you’re going to turn around and go, “Whoa, what just happened?” And I am determined not to be like that. I have taken the first steps, and will continue it, for as long as my journey may be.
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