What I Believe Is Beauty

sarah - houston, Texas
Entered on December 16, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

Beauty could be anything really. It could be whatever someone thinks it is because everyone see things differently. Beauty could be the brightest most beautiful star in the sky, or things, or people. Like in the quote “Beauty is within the eye of the beholder” explains everything.

While I was blind for a day obviously I couldn’t see, but I could hear things. One thing I noticed was the sound of my friend’s voice. It was more interesting than before. It was just very nice to hear his voice and the things he said. It was the little things I heard that was beautiful to me.

At first it was just simply funny, when he was messing with me and playing around, but it got serious after awhile. When he helped me to a few of my classes it was the best thing he had done for me. When I almost tripped going up the stairs, he didn’t let me fall because he was right there to catch me. Now, I know I can trust him even more. Also, he wouldn’t let people bother me, the blind person. It was very nice of him.

Another one of my friends helped me eat. At first I kept making a mess on myself so she decided to help feed me. I know it sounds funny but, it was really sincere, it was really helpful for me. It was awesome how she guided me and let me know where things were in front of me.

Even though it was really frustrating and I got annoyed of being blind, it made me realize that there were people I could really count on and trust. Trust is the number one thing for me and I still have that trust in them and so much more. My friends helping me all day, and hearing their voices was really one of the most beautiful things I could have experienced. I never thought being blind would be as beautiful as it was, but at least now I could “see”, well, at least feel what it was like. This also showed me what great friends I have and how they will be there for me anytime.

Other than being blind and feeling how a blind person’s life is, there is something else I find that is really beautiful, my dog Daisy. The way she barked, the way she walked, the way she played with her food, the way she looked at me when she wanted something, the way she slept, the color of her fur and eyes, the way she jumped, that dog smell she had, everything about her was beautiful to me, but the most beautiful thing about her was how nice and funny she was. She even played hide-and-go-seek with me. I’ve never met another dog like her, she definitely is one in a million.

Well, Daisy passed away, the day before my birthday, November 30, 2008. She had been sick for the past 3 years I had her, she was diabetic, and she had seizures evey once in a while. Then last week she had a stroke, she couldn’t move at all, the only thing she moved were her little eyes. I thought I was going to lose her right there, so I held her all night long, for about 4 hours she was like this. After she could start to move I didn’t want to ever leave her alone all by herself. Randomly she started choking so I took her to the vet that afternoon but they didn’t say anything was abnormal with her, so I just took her home. She didn’t want to eat at all but I stayed with her all day, I coulndn’t sleep at all because I wanted to be there for her if something else were to happen.

Sunday came along, although she didn’t walk straight she seemed much better and normal, but little did I know she wasn’t. Around 2PM Daisy had another seizure. I held her and had my hand on her chest. She started wagging her tail as to let me know she was leaving me and telling me goodbye. All of a sudden she stopped breathing and her heart stopped pounding. Daisy died right there in front of me in my arms. Not a move, not even her eyes. I didn’t want to let her go. I kept her in my arms for an hour just sitting there crying and crying.

Yes, I am extremely hurt, I do miss her so much, and I want her back, but she will always be in my heart and at least now I know she is not in anymore pain. I’m really going to miss all the good and fun times we had, I just keep thinking about the funny things she did. I will never forget her and how wonderful of a dog she was.

My friend showed me this song called “Kristy, are you doing okay?” by The Offspring. It reminded her of me and Daisy. This is how the song goes, “Can you stay strong? Can you go on? Kristy are you doing okay? A rose that won’t bloom, Winter’s kept you. Don’t waste your whole life trying to get back what was taken away.” So basically she was telling me to stay strong and not to waste my whole life trying to get Daisy back. It was really nice of my friend to let me know if I needed her for anything she would be there. She let me know that it’s hard right now, but I’ll be okay. I know things will get better in time and I understand that every living thing has to go at some point.

So, to me, beauty is a perception, or one’s view on life. Everyone needs people in their lives to help them get through the difficulties they encounter in their lives. For me, it was having friends I could count on in my time of need, whether it was when I was blind for a day or whether it was when I was grieving the death of my loved one. I appreciate having those kinds of people in my life and to me that is beauty.