Second Chances

Bre - Stoughton, Massachusetts
Entered on December 14, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: change, family

I believe in giving people second chances. Everyone deserves a second chance. Nobody is perfect, everyone has their faults. Sometimes things happen in life that is out of our control and other times, people just completely mess up. Even then, I think people deserve a second chance. To prove themselves that they can make things right or that they’re making changes to become a better person. Nothing happens overnight, everything takes time. However, that’s when it’d be up to the person who was initially hurt to realize how long they are willing to wait to give a person a second chance. In my opinion, for most situations, the writing is on the wall whether or not they deserve one and whether or not they would actually follow through is up to them.

In the beginning it was hard for me to trust people as a young child. My dad was in and out of my life like the sun on a cloudy day. He would be there for me on occasion, other times he just wouldn’t show up. There were always excuses. While I was only a young child at the time I didn’t realize what my dad was doing to me and how slowly and surely I was losing trust in him internally. I soon learned to deal with the disappointment that I received when he would let me down by not showing up or break promises. I knew it wasn’t right, but what could I do? It wasn’t my fault; it was just the way he was.

Through these times of trying to deal with my dad, my mom had met a man named John, whom she had started to date. As my mom saw more and more of John, I grew to like him less and less. It wasn’t him that I disliked, more the fact that I had to share my mom with someone else and that my life was changing. As I was not used to having a father-figure around in my life, I didn’t know how to behave around John. It was a different lifestyle for me knowing that my mom could marry this man and my life would change. At first I didn’t trust John because I didn’t know if he was going to really take the place of my dad or just end up hurting my mom. I was only a child; how was I supposed to know that he would not just leave us behind? I told my mom that I was uncertain about John and she understood because she had a stepfather. She looked at me with her beautiful brown eyes and said “Monch, you know you mean more to me and come first than anyone else in this world. I know you may not be sure about John right now, but trust me, it’s for the better.” As she sat there and looked down at me I knew I had to not only trust John but take her words as well. She took another deep breath in and replied “Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.” That’s when I knew I had to give John a second chance.

It wasn’t until a few years later, after my mom and John got married, that I realized John was the best thing that had ever happened to me. As a stepfather, he was more like a mentor than a father. He was my helper, caretaker, steward of sorts. John is a very responsible man and many of my strengths as a person come from his experiences in this world. He is someone who believes that a person must do as he has promised; protection of the family; equality and fairness. His guidance has led me to become a responsible young adult. He’s amazing and there are simply no sufficient words to describe him.

As I have grown, I have become a more trusting person because of John. It is now easier for me to trust people and let them into my lives. Giving second chances are always good, no matter how bad the mistake was. Holding a grudge will just destroy you as a person. There’s a difference between forgiving and learning and making the same mistake over and over. John showed me that taking chances can be for the best. Life is all about taking chances. Imagine were you would be if you never took a chance on anything. If you love this person and feel they love you then a chance is nothing at all. He proved to me that there are those who are truly instruments of hope and healing to fatherless homes, and he deserves praise for his willingness to step in and be a father figure for me. He faced a tremendous challenge, which I consider the reason why I believe in giving people second chances. In my eyes the chance is well worth it.