Essense Of Getting Away…

Corie - el paso, Texas
Entered on December 12, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family

I believe in the essence of getting away. Getting away meaning having time for myself , time to think about my problems, and time to relieve my stress. The only thing that has ever worked for me was to ride my horse. See, there comes a time in everyone’s life where it may not be up to par with how you expect it to be.

Early in the year 2008 my life sure wasn’t up to par with how I had always pictured it. I went through a lot of hard times, especially the breaking up of my so called “family.” When things went south with my step dad due to the sexual charges I had pressed on him I had a hard time coping with it. My mom started to lose trust in me because she had found out about me lying about going to work because I was gang affiliated and I thought I had better things to do. At that time I was so messed up in the head that it seemed like fighting was the only thing I could really do to get out my anger. Soon after I realized I was wrong.

Ever since I was a little kid I have been into riding horses, it has always been a way to calm me down and it is the one thing that I have patience with. At this time in my life I started riding a lot more than usual, just going for long walks or just letting my horse run free on a trail in the desert really calmed me down and allowed me to think. Many times I have found myself crying about random things about whatever had been going on in my life. Other times I would be laughing at who knows what, but it did not matter to me I had to find a way to express myself somehow, this just happened to be the only way I have found that worked.

Every now and then I find myself going to ride my horse to think about what had happened to this family. Even though the charges have been dropped in court and the whole ordeal is over I still find it bothering me. How can someone so horrible be out free on the streets. I can’t help but think about why he is still at my moms house, why she does not tell him to pack his things and leave, I think maybe it has to do with my little sister but even she can’t stand him. When I ride I think about the big problems in my life and even the small, such as school and what I am going to do next.

I believe in the essence of getting away, I feel that it is the one thing that really keeps me sane. Sometimes I find myself telling all my secrets to my horse, but I guess it does not matter, after all who could she possibly tell?