I believe people should be themselves because it would save them many problems. If you aren’t yourself you have to keep track on how you act around everyone you talk to and if you were yourself then you would only have to keep track of what they don’t like you saying. You can save yourself from offending someone because you are trying to be someone they will accept. Some people don’t want to wait and want to be accepted instantly while others would rather be accepted by those who want to be their friend for who they are not for who they pretend to be.
At Froniter I was never really social because I was too crazy for people to wan to be my friend and I accepted that for over seven years but when I transferred schools I lost a lot of my craziness and was more mellow. Even though I changed I did it because I was tired of being so crazy ALL the time. I ended up with a lot more friends because I was still me but I was a better and more comfortable me. I now have more friends because I was myself and I wasn’t afraid to adventure out of my social group.
I am happy with my best friends and my friends who are like family. I would rather have them, who I am myself around then ten million other friends who I pretend I am different than I am to please them. I grew up hearing my cousins talk about how much they hate people who pretend like they are something they aren’t because they like the real them much better. So I promised them that I would be myself and ignore the people who thought they were too good to be my friend or were too ashamed to want to be my friend. This promise turned out to be to keep me who I am and only changing the bad things. My cousins wanted me to be able to be myself and to be patient because the best friends come to you and you don’t even have to try. They said my best friends would love me for me and they will do their best to deal with me. I am not going to lie I am quite a handful. I have to say so far it is working out pretty well for me.
Maybe I am just lucky to have cousins who tell me everything and get me to promise things that seem stupid to me then but when the promise is tested I learn that they really are just looking out for me and trying to make sure I had the best friends possible. I wish everyone had people telling them what they hate about people throughout their life because if they did life would be so much better with real people as appose to the fake ones that all of us know and possibly have been friends with. So I ask, are you the real you or who people think or want you to be? Either way it only matters if you personally think that one is better than the other or hope you friends see it that way. Life is hard enough as it is why make it hard by having friends who are only your friend because of who they think you are as appose to who you really are.
People are better off being themselves, this I believe.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.