This I Believe

Heidi - Provo, Utah
Entered on December 10, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

There are so many things I have learned over the years, but the most powerful lessons are also the hardest. The most important lesson I’ve learned is that the light always comes, it just takes some time.

Life rarely goes according to plan and it throws you a curve ball every once and a while. After being diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety I felt like an outcast. I was a lable. I was abnormal.

I would cry uncontrollably and sit in my bed playing mindless arcade games becuase I couldn’t make myself do anything else. I existed–barely. I managed to make it through my classes that semester of college but I was broken inside. I didn’t know how to make it from one day to the next.

After getting medication the world suddenly seemed like the greatest place and I walked on air. Nothing was impossible anymore, in fact anything seemed possible. It had been so long since I had felt anything like that an I was intoxicated. I lived life to the hilt–for about 2 weeks.

One day I felt amazing, the next I crashed harder and faster than ever before. After feeling so good I was suddenly back in an all to familiar place and I didn’t know if I would ever be able to get out of it again. But life kept going and I had to too.

After a week or so I was able to readjust my medication, and slowly, I began to live again. It didn’t happen all at once, and I wasn’t magically cured, but I began to feel happy again.

Since then I’ve learned to live with my challenges and be happy in spite of them. I still have down days, but that’s another thing I’ve learned: you can’t be up if you’ve never been down. Most importantly, I keep reminding myself that the light always comes, sometimes it just takes a while.