I believe in love through friendship. I never before understood the power that this has on my life until recently. Sometimes it seems that we only truly appreciate our lives through trauma and tragedy. When we really experience loss and betrayal, it makes us take a step back from the every day of our lives and reevaluate who we are and what we live for. It is so easy to become enthralled in the every day occurances that happen that I feel I may, at times, not see the whole picture of what my life is and I forget about setting priorities and remembering what is important.
I recently had the unfortunate experience of losing a close friend suddenly, way before her time. This was a regrettable and life-altering occurrence to myself and many close to me. Through these hard times, I have had to really revaluate my life and values. It has made me wonder what is really important in life. I realize now how important loved ones are and how there are so many out there who love without question and live without limitations. This experience has made me really try to concentrate on what my goals are and who I want to be. It has made me take a step back.
I do not understand all that goes on in life. I have questioned and cursed higher powers. I have gotten angry, upset, sad, and all sort of other emotions in between with no complete resolution in site. And although I do not have it all figured out and am not understanding all that occurs through life here on our planet, I am trying to find more than heartache to come from this. I do not want this tragedy to occur in vain without some positive coming from it.
And although it can be hard and sad at times, even though I may not always want to go on, it is the only one I have and I want to make the most of every moment. I must do this for myself. I must do this for my friend.
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