I was seven when I made the commitment that changed my life. I remember the day. It was the most important day of my life. It was the day I chose to live happily. It was the only decision I ever made that I am completely sure of. I grew up intelligent. I read my first chapter book by the time I was six. I had written my first children’s book by the time I was nine. My first adult book was completed by my eleventh birthday. I wrote what I wrote not to share or be published but simply to be written. I have words in my head that form into stories that form into books but they are my own books so they are never shared. Yes, I grew up quite differently. I grew up fighting a battle against the world. I resisted culture. I resisted the norm with every fiber of my being and with all the strength in my body. I was determined to make my life entirely my own. I wanted to be my own colors and the draw my own pictures. I never feared death or life. I’ve never feared the unexpected or the inevitable. I am entirely who I am and nothing more and nothing less. I read the books I want to read. I write the stories I want to write. I belong to no religion because I believe many things and they have never fit under a single umbrella. I have danced in the rain and walked in the snow without my shoes. I do the things that make me happy. I only do the things that make me happy. But in order to live and to function I have created a rule, just one rule that I will share with you now. But first I will discuss briefly life and death.
Life is a gift. I am alive and I should be grateful. I am grateful for gifts; therefore life must be a gift. All receive the same gift when birth occurs. Life is one of only two things that bind us together indefinitely. Life is the first and death is the second. We all share the beginning and we all share the end. We are all born in different ways and we will all die in different ways but the fact is that we all begin and we all end. Life and Death are the basis of my rule and of the way I live. I have one existence and I do not wish to waste it.
During that existence I feel that I should do only what makes me happy. I live exactly the way I want to live. I do not mourn death because I share in it too. I celebrate new life because there is someone new in the world that could change it any way they want to and that makes me quite proud to be alive. But in order to be truly happy, I must not be reckless. I do not fear anything but it does not mean that I should wrap a Cobra around my neck. I do not fear anything but it does not mean that I should shoot. Someone. My rule is that I must live only for myself and do anything and everything that makes me happy so long as I am not harmed and I harm nothing and no one around me. Life is better when I am happy living the way I please and making the choices I want to make but it is even better when I do not harm others because that never leads to happiness, only defeat of the self. Harming someone or something, to me, is like harming myself. How can I be happy hurting another? Truly, I cannot be. People can claim that this brings them happiness but it does not. We all share life and death and we all know how we wish to live so why try to alter the way another person wishes to live by harming them. I see no reason to hurt another. I never have and I never will. If my life is threatened, I will let it be so and I will act however I will be happiest. If I am content with my life and I feel I have lived enough, then death would be welcomed should it come. If I feel I have more still to do, I will fight death as I have fought the world, with everything I am. I love silence when sound is too much. I love sound when my thoughts are too much. I love life when life is my friend. I love life when life is my enemy. Death is a friend waiting to greet me when it’s over. Life is my friend leading me until my end. I will cease someday, and in that moment of thought that all receive before death, I will look back and see that I have lived for my happiness and I am better because of it. Life is made for happiness or pain, I was given the choice when I was born and I chose happiness and I am alive.
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