It’s a bit odd to say, but as a kid I used to think myself silly with long, existential meanderings on life and death. It was all just so interesting and insurmountable, that life exists and we’re aware of it, that there’s so much we can do (and at the same time so little), and then it just goes away and that’s that, and no one knows what happens after death. Life is so diverse and delicate. Just being alive to me is such an amazing thing, but there’s so much to do with the time you get; and back then my greatest fear, beyond heights, burglars and semi-trucks, was dying without having lived what I felt to be a fulfilling life. Life is so wonderful, even in it’s less than stellar moments, and I believe in not ignoring it and enjoying everything you can get out of it.
There are so many things all around you, everyday, to take delight in: being with a group of friends, connecting to a song or a story, reading a positive news article, walking barefoot through the grass. I find that what usually makes me the happiest are one-off events. Recently, I was walking across my university’s campus and listening to my iPod on shuffle. I reached an open field where ROTC members were practicing configuration drills just as a song titled ‘The War’ began playing. I walked by in amazement, as it seemed they were moving almost in perfect time to the music.
Finding the beauty in life, little moments, normal occurrences or special, random moments of happenstance like the one above, makes me feel so energized; whether it’s something as unimportant as coming across a frog on the sidewalk or one as life-altering as coming to the end of my senior year of high school, realizing all these bonds were about to be weakened to make way for new ones that will eventually be weakened and replaced with more after that. Ruminating on this gave me such a deeper infatuation with life, relationships, existence. Take the opportunity to love at least one moment each day of life. Never take one for granted, that’s one day wasted. One thing I regret most about my time in high school was how I was a bit of a loner to my friends for the first half. I’ve always been more of an independent, introverted person, but I mostly ended my interaction with everyone after class ended, save for a few people. I didn’t really come out of my shell until junior year and had to catch up with this deep union everyone in my class had forged. The more time I spent with them the more entertaining life seemed to be.
I hope to do so many things with my life, big and small. I want to get so much out of it and give as much back. I want to work hard but not forget to play just as much if not more. I want to try so many different things, see so many different places, there’s so much out there to accomplish, to test out and I want to fulfill all my expectations for my life and love every day of it. What a gift to have received. How heavy and overwhelming, yet fragile and simple. Live and believe.
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