I have seen people around me search endlessly for what they believe to be their purpose on this earth. They spend their money to read the latest book, to talk to the latest and greatest speaker, they meditate, they pray, they dig within themselves deeply in order to discover why it is that they are here. They want to justify their existence; something man has been struggling with since the dawn of time.
I have looked within the wide pools of blue-green in the eyes of my children, and wondered if perhaps my purpose was simply in having these precious gifts. Are they my reason for being on this earth? It seems counterintuitive to assume that my sole purpose for being here is to only bring about more lives that will wander the earth wondering about their own worth; hoping that they find some clue from somewhere outside of them to explain why they are here.
It is then that I understood that it was my purpose to have these children just as it is my purpose to love them, hold them, and stroke their soft hair as they drift off to sleep. It is my purpose to dance and laugh with them as it is to help to wipe away their tears. While this blessing of motherhood is miraculous and amazing, I know that it is not my one and only purpose in my life or for my life.
Understanding that I am here for my children did not end the quest for validity in my life; it only deepened my understanding that my purpose far outreaches one act, one moment, or one role. My purpose is so much more. My purpose is also to love my husband, and be his other half. My purpose is to eat good food, to eat bad food, to run hard and skin my knees when I fall. My purpose is in each extraordinary moment that I am here, each breath I take. It is to listen to birds outside my window, to feel the warmth of the sun, to know the sting of a cold, hard rain. It is to know pain so deep that it falls over me like a heavy black cloak and joys so wonderful that I feel as if I am going to burst just keeping them within me.
My purpose does not come from a book, it is not a career, and it does not come from another person telling me what I should or should not do. My purpose is to be here each moment, to experience it fully, treasure each one, and to know that it will not last forever.
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