In our discussions my neighbor and friend, Harry Beard, now in the sunset years of his life, has often quoted a line from Shakespeare; “Nothing is until we believe it so”.
In this world I live in today my experiences are shaped, at least to some degree, by my beliefs and often those experiences then reinforce what it is that I believe. All of this can be triggered by activating events.
I came from a “broken home” and as a child I was deprived of what it feels like to have two parents in love with each other loving their children. As I grew older I believe this hardened my outlook on life until one day I found that my beliefs were limited to a material existence and I was determined to take what I wanted. Several years of this finally left me with a question: “Is this all there is?” That is how my inward search for the truth began.
My inward search lead me to a couple of realizations. First, the world is not always what it appears to be. Secondly, I am responsible for what I experience in this world. I remember the morning all this became clear to me. It was September 8, 1973 at exactly 6:00 AM. It was a sunny morning and I was sitting in a chair outside my apartment building. There was an elderly lady walking across the street and I was watching her. Suddenly I had what has been referred to as an epiphany. For a moment I saw the oneness of everything and the perfection of the world in which I was living. In that moment it all made sense to me and I knew I was the problem; not the world or other people, politics, history, or anything I was use to blaming. I knew I was at fault for my experience because I had chosen to see the world in my terms. On that morning I was given a view of the world in terms not of my own making. On that morning I saw clearly how I had chosen to ignore the miracle of life, of each breath that I had taken and was taking. I realized that I had been blind to the opportunity of this life I had been given by forces and realities beyond my comprehension. I also realized a way to change.
What was most significant for me in this process was to realize that behind everything there was a sentient design that I had little to do with aside from the opportunity to experience life. I realized that there were rules established that were immutable, at least for me, and that following those rules results in an experience of life the way it was intended to be.
It has been more than thirty five years since that eventful morning. My epiphany has not betrayed me. Each day I find life more special and I am grateful for the lessons. I believe those lessons have been taught to me by God. That is why I believe in God and I hope God Believes in me.
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