A Rule To Live By

Di - Queen Creek, Arizona
Entered on December 7, 2008

A Rule To Live By

I believe in developing a personal rule to never fear something that I have always found intimidating. When I stop to think about it, I see that fear usually stems from something the world knows little about because it is unpredictable… change. I believe that if each individual develops a rule about refusing to fear the one thing that leads to all the little things that coerce us, change, everyone could go that extra mile in life.

I’m not talking about embracing fears that are tangible like spiders (I don’t suggest breaking new grounds by making them a playmate). Nor am I talking about concrete change like trying a new hair color. What I’m talking about is more abstract and conceptual- things that effect us in the long run because they are life altering choices.

In 2007, I learned to embrace changes… more by force than choice. One morning in Queen Creek in April of last year, I heard the words “Don’t come home tonight, because you don’t have a home.” spoken by my mother, which was her way of telling me I was being thrown out. I was seventeen and had only the clothes on my back and a dollar in my pocket. Reality slapped me in the face. Thank God for grandmothers; Mine snuck me back in the house later to give me money while my mother was at work. Thank God for best friends; mine let me live with them until the school year ended.

In the summer, my sister arranged for me to live with her in Tempe. New places and new faces? Of course the idea of knowing nobody and being unfamiliar with all of the areas in town paralyzed me. Soon, though, I realized something; this was a fresh start… a new beginning.

After getting my first job, enrolling in a new school I really liked, and moving with my sister and niece into new little apartment, I decided things were going great. That is, until, things started going downhill. My stress level reached an all time high because I began getting very sick, and my sister lost her job, which put us behind on the bills. Being rushed to the ER and seeing the eviction notice slapped on our apartment door a few days later were the things that put me over the edge.

Several doctors notes and moving boxes later, I was on my way back to my old life in Queen Creek. It was early January. It’s true, my experience in Tempe left me feeling defeated… at first.

I realize now that with change comes tests, obstacles, and challenges, and that if you come out a better person in the end, it makes it worth the while. In Tempe, I discovered who I am as a person. I found my independence. I found the positive side of change, and looked it right in the eye.