Change: For Better or Worse

Joshua - Boynton Beach, Florida
Entered on December 4, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

From kindergarten to the fifth grade, I was what people liked to call an over achiever. I used to be really shy and rather antisocial. I would only speak to my few friends and never voiced my opinion to a crowd. But sure enough, through my writings and school work, my teachers found me to excel.

Entering the sixth grade, my priorities changed. I began to clown a lot. By the end of sixth grade, there was little I didn’t have a feeling of apathy for. I did enough to appear like a good student, but was careful not to do too much to look like a geek. I did well, but there was little to no attempt on what it was doing. I was resting on my laurels.

Following the very end of my junior year in high school, the attitude remained the same, mostly, except I became well aware of how smart I was. I was no longer humble, and I began to hate myself. Through my senior year of high school, I attempted to care. For a while, everything went great. I didn’t quite give my best effort, but there was a noticeable change in my attitude. Somewhere along the line, though, I stopped caring, stopped improving, stopped trying; my priorities were once again in a mess. Apathy was my consciousness and life continued without purpose.

Here I am now. I regret my attitude towards life before now. I know that if I had tried, my life would be completely different. I figure that I shouldn’t regret what I’ve done before. I figured that I now have another opportunity. I believe that we all have our chances, and in time, more will arise.

During the summer, I attended my first semester here at UCF. It feels like an entirely new life for me. Right now, I’m not exactly enjoying it. I’m actually at a very low state, a little depression, possibly. But I know that before every rise, there is a fall.

I believe that if I make the most of my life now, there will be plenty of opportunities to better it. This time around, this new beginning I have, I will allow nothing and nobody to hinder my progress. I’m not a selfish individual, but for the moment, I’m living every second of every minute of every hour of every day for me. I believe that change is inevitable, but it’s up to oneself as to whether they rise or fall.