Always With Me

Marissa - Shawnee, Kansas
Entered on December 4, 2008

I believe God has been and will always be with me.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you were the only person on this Earth? Have you ever pushed anyone away, so far away that you forgot about them? Have you ever felt alone?

Ever since the beginning of high school, I had wanted to fit in. I wanted to be considered “popular”, having the whole grade know who I am. But how could I let others get to know me if I didn’t even know who I was? I was afraid to be myself, afraid that others would reject me. I hid behind a mask, one of shyness and doubt. I was extremely concerned about what other people thought of me, so much that I wouldn’t even raise my hand in class to answer a question because I thought others would make fun of me because of what I would say. Walking through the halls of Aquinas, I felt like all eyes were on me, and not in a good way. I felt like I was being judged and no one even knew anything about me. I compared myself to the people I thought I wanted to fit in with, becoming non-confident and self conscious, only being my true bubbly, energetic self around my BEST friends. Until about five months ago, these are things that I thought of constantly.

Five months ago. July. I realized through all the years that I felt alone, I wasn’t. People out there wanted to get to know me; I just didn’t take the time to let them in. I was always worried about what others thought of me that I had pushed them all away.

But the most important person that I pushed away was God. God had always been there for me, even when I didn’t recognize that He was there. God had always been there with unconditional love and kindness, waiting for me to accept it. Once I accepted God’s love, I could spread it to others, so they too would know He is there.

I believe God is always with others.

I believe God has been and will always be with me.