“The key to change… is to let go of fear.” This quote by Roseanne Cash explains the first emotion I felt when my parents announced their divorce to me, fear. Everyone fears the unknown and at the age of seven, I knew very little about divorce. I remember the first time I felt a drop of this fear. One morning I woke up and walked by our guest bedroom only to find my dad sleeping in there. I later asked him why he was sleeping there and he replied, “I’m sick and I didn’t want to get your mom sick too.” Although this was a good excuse, I didn’t believe him and could tell he was lying. But young children forget things easily so I went on with my normal and content way of life, until one night when we had a family meeting. That drop turned into a stream of fear because we didn’t have many family meetings and when we did, it usually meant that something bad had happened. Unfortunately, I could not have been more right. Something very bad had happened…my parents had decided to split-up. At this moment the stream became a tidal wave of fear and uncertainty. My whole life had been turned completely upside down.
I felt as though my family was now broken into many tiny pieces. Thankfully, I wasn’t entirely alone in my feelings. My three brothers all felt the same as I did. So the four of us decided that we weren’t going to let this ruin us, and we began to pick up those pieces and mend our family. We agreed to the custody schedule that meant we spent one night here and another there. It meant that our Christmases and birthdays would now be traded off between parents. But we knew it would make our parents happy so we didn’t complain. Even though I wanted my parents to get back together, I knew they no longer loved each other.
Those first few years were turbulent and hard, but we got through them together. And in a way we became a family again. Now I don’t mean that my parents remarried, but we worked through our fear and sadness. We aren’t the traditional all-American family…but we are one that has been dropped, broken, and glued back together.
This I believe the only way to have a change is to lose all fear of that change. Then you can embrace that change and in the end realize that it’s for the best.
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