I believe that no matter how big the turmoil, God is with me.
My nephew, 11 months, the bubbliest baby with his playful laugh and big smile. He was so ample; you couldn’t resist pinching his cheeks and giving him kisses. He always explored as babies do. Rolling and crawling, that chunky monkey was happiness.
For two minutes my sister turned her back to wash his bottle when she heard a cry.
It came from my nephew who’d been electrocuted from a clock he pulled down from the entertainment system that had exposed wire.
The terror of my nephew not breathing, his eyes open and his body stiff but he saw my sister and wanted her to wrap herself around him.
The agonizing minutes that passed while waiting for the ambulance.
The whirlwind of the ambulance ride knowing he was already gone but in that ultimate shock.
I got the phone call from my screaming mother who broke the news. Without hesitation, I dropped to my knees and prayed. God knew I needed help, I needed strength, and I needed him. I pled with God with all my heart. In my head, it ran “there’s no way my nephew wouldn’t come out of this because babies don’t die like this. They can’t.”
I drove to the hospital in complete silence. All the cars around me seeming like time was going slower than ever while my heart beat was so fierce pounding through my chest.
I arrived to the hospital and my older sister met me at the elevator. Her face was stale but exhausted. We got in and pushed our floor and then my sister said, “Christian is gone.” I never thought I would hear these words. I grabbed the rail and began crying uncontrollably. We reached the floor and my sister led me out onto the floor where my mom was waiting and I went to her arms immediately and I didn’t want to let go.
However, I knew the people I needed to see were my sister and brother in law for they were suffering the most with this loss. I walked into the viewing room, what happened behind those doors was so sad, and depressing there are no words to express. Just know it felt like a part of us all died that day as well.
No matter how big the turmoil I believe God is with me because I look at my sister and she is laughing again. We never thought we would reach that milestone but now we are here we know there are better days to come. Very very slowly but surely there are better days.
God was with us through that nightmare he let us know that we would be ok as long as we remembered we have each other. It will forever be a tragedy but God has shown us a new path that he would like us to follow. This I believe. Your will be done.