No Regrets

Azucena - Calistoga, California
Entered on December 2, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

No Regrets

I believe I must never regret anything that I do. Regrets only make people bitter and unhappy, and there is no way you can undo actions.

. When my grandpa got sick, my family decided to make one of his wishes true. This wish was to go to Mexico for what he thought was the last time. Unfortunately this was his last time. He died in Mexico in September 2007. The whole family was devastated and was determined to fly to Mexico right away. I was only seventeen years old, going through finals in High School, and totally confused about going to Mexico to my grandpa or not. I had a huge decision to make. On one hand, I knew that going to Mexico to my grandpa’s funeral was not only the right thing to do, but also what I desired from the bottom of my heart. On the other hand, school has always been my number one priority and I new that doing this “trip” was going to affect me greatly. So far, this has been the worse situation I have ever been stuck with.

The night before my whole family flew to Mexico I had a dream with my grandpa. He was talking to me, but for some reason I could not hear him. I couldn’t see his face either; it was as if a cloud was covering it and did not allow me to see it. I woke up soaked in sweat and went to my parents’ room and told them about it. I asked my mom for advice on what I should do, and the only thing she said was that it was my decision and I needed to take that decision on my own. That wasn’t of great help, but I knew she was right.

Early in the morning the next day we headed to the San Francisco air port. The whole drive there seemed endless, but it gave me time to think about what I should do. I tried to remember my dream and figure out what my grandpa was saying to me but I couldn’t. I felt impotent and I wanted to cry my eyes out. We finally got to the air port, and as my family purchased their tickets a shiver feeling of anxiety and some sort of comforting assurance came over me. After that I decided I wasn’t going to my grandpas’ funeral. For some reason I felt happy and fulfilled about my choice.

As my parents and siblings left, I started to think about what my grandpa would have thought about my decision. Did I make him happy or unhappy? I definitely did not want him to be unhappy so I started telling my self that he was happy because I had made an important decision that was, in many ways, best for me.

As I got home I started to fell even sadder because I was home alone and because I had finals to study for. I started to think about my grandpa and all the times he told me his boring stories, but also, I started to think about how much I was going to miss them. No matter how badly I desired to say good bye to my grandpa and be with him for the last time, I decided to stay and make him proud by getting an education. To this day, I’ve never felt like I regret not being there with him, and I will never regret anything that I do, this I believe.