Believing In Responsibility

Ellie - Va. Beach, Virginia
Entered on December 2, 2008

A friend once told me that her boyfriend was a transvestite and partied all the time because he had a bad childhood. Others have said their parents were cruel and had little interest in their lives- that’s why they have turned to irresponsible behavior. I believe some people just don’t want to hold their own selves accountable for their actions, and blame it on the past.

I believe people make their own decisions, sometimes things from the past may influence them, but in my case- there is no other hand guiding me other than my own. I’ve come from a family with alcoholism and drug abuse. My uncle died because he drank himself to death, another family member is in jail due to stealing and cocaine. I don’t see how people who have been around this behavior could ever want to follow the same pattern.

I refuse to be a protégé of the bad influences. I look at my childhood and remember things children should not have to deal with, but these things never made me want to do the same. Growing up, I have seen my friends fall from their potential, doing stupid idiotic things in the name of “a good time”. I don’t understand how they let themselves be blinded from consequences, resulting from their instant gratification. They make excuses for their actions and point the finger to their parents, or their friends. Point the finger at yourself.

I am strong, I would say stubborn, and I will not be one to let others decide for me. I am like the mother figure to all my friends, giving wise advice that no one takes; then, they come back to me and tell me I was right. They make these errors, excusing them as a way to learn and grow- but why do something irresponsible when you know it is wrong? It pushes the blame on something else. My generation is so worried about what others think of them, they can’t think for themselves. My peers join in on activities, like taking prescription drugs to get a high, so they fit it with everyone else.

I have a younger sister and brother; both of them have been exposed to unnecessary situations. I want to leave my families issues in the past, but some have to be expressed. My family has little money, but we do not steal. We have seen drug deals and drug use, but have not twisted our thoughts to justify our own actions in taking illegal substances. Maybe it is because we have a strong foundation built around God, or maybe it is because we refuse, I refuse, to be irresponsible.

I believe each person is responsible for their own actions, and shouldn’t blame others for their mistakes. Some young people will never be strong enough to stand on their own, without a finger pointing backwards. I do hope, with the increase of positive influences, for the acceptance of one’s own accountability.