Before writing this essay, I had the most difficult time choosing my topic. Being a somewhat organized person, I created a list of things I believe in, ranging from religion to what it takes to be happy. Yet, each time I tried to choose just one to write about, another one seemed to have the potential for an equally interesting essay. Finally, it hit me. I believe in indecisiveness. I believe that when all the options are presented to me and my decision is on the line, I have the right to not choose. While this may frustrate the people I’m with, I find that having such an uncertain mind is a gift. It may not come in handy at the drive-thru or when doing a school project, but in the grand scheme of things, it allows me to truly have a little of everything.
As a senior in high school, the next decision I am currently facing is huge. Choosing what I want to do with the rest of my life is easily the scariest choice I have ever had to make. Every time I see a relative or family friend, the first question I hear is “Where do you want to go to college?” which is inevitably followed by “What do you plan on majoring in?” I am constantly feeling the pressure to map out my entire life right this moment. Yet, I am comforted by the insight Baz Luhrmann offers in his speech “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen):
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at twenty-two what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting forty-year olds I know still don’t.
Knowing that there are others who are unwilling or unable to decide what to do with their lives reassures me that, although college is imminent, my decision doesn’t have to be. It leaves me free to explore every thing I love and to, hopefully, find a career that contains all of them.
So, while my family and friends urge me to make decisions quickly and constantly, I have come to accept my indecisiveness as a positive thing. Thus, as the world around me is filled with those rushing to make choice after choice, I am content to sit back, relax and explore the possibilities.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.