Isabel - Yarmouth, Maine
Entered on November 25, 2008

I believe in listening. I grew up never listening and with the mindset that everything has to be my way. Rules have never truly been a huge factor in my life and I believe I could basically get away with anything. If your reading this and the first couple sentences I wrote apply to you, you have to change. Talking over someone, making up your own rules, and never accepting anything will get you nowhere. Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way on October 15, 2008.

I went to a boarding school in Wolfeboro, New Hampshire called Brewster Academy. It was the best school I enjoyed everything, even the teachers I hated and I still deep down liked them. My relationship with the teachers was great. I constantly joked around with teachers and I was a boarder so I became very close with some girls who were considered some of the best friends I have ever had. I thought I was invisible there though. Whatever boarding school you go to there is always drinking, drugs, and sex. Those are the three biggest actions that have influenced my generation incredibly. There were rules at Brewster but they were basic rules such as no drinking, drugs, smoking, or hazing. It’s sad but most of the school everyday broke those rules including me. So many people got caught but it was mainly the kids who were flat out druggies. If you knew me I am farthest thing from a druggie. Last May though I become one of those kids. I bought alcohol from my ski coach and drank one night in my dorm room with five of my friends and getting caught. The morning after that incident I met with the dean of students who put me on probation, which was a reasonable punishment. I listened to what the dean said but I still thought I was invisible so I kept smoking my cigarettes occasionally and socially. In the beginning of the summer I would drink and smoke a little. Then came the fall of my junior year I was in a new dorm and new girls. My dorm parent was amazing I loved her whole family. We had many dorm meetings about the rules and not breaking them. I had many talks with teachers lecturing me about not drinking and I told them I understand what they were talking about and I would never drink again. In mid- October we were sponsoring a huge dance with other schools and we had met this new sophomore girl she was so cool and wanted to drink before the dance. I was all for it and then I got caught and was expelled the next morning. My mother came and picked me up at 11 in the morning. I have never seen my mother cry until that morning. It’s awkward for your parents to cry and I was upset because I was going to miss my friends but I was puzzled as to why my mother was crying. I thought she would be on the ground by that time suffering of a heart attack but instead she was crying. The way home we didn’t talk once. I was so puzzled as to why she was crying I was the one supposed to be crying begging for her forgiveness but it didn’t phase me to do any of that. I just looked at the window and thinking about my friends and a very special boy I had left behind. It was one of the most life altering moments I had ever had.

So here I am sitting in the library of the first public school I have ever been to. It’s been a little over a month since I left Brewster. I have truly dwelled on that car ride everyday since it happened and pondered it constantly when I am bored. I came to the conclusion. That I don’t listen and if you don’t listen you will get nowhere. You have to learn to listen and I don’t mean just sit there and let things go through one ear and out the other I mean sinking a certain thought into your heart and brain. I believe that listening is one of the most important qualities as a human. “ Big egos have little ears- Robert Schuller).” This I believe.