I believe there is nothing God gives us that we can’t handle. He never leaves or forsakes us and always provides. Put your faith in Him and you will live a carefree life with no worries. If our house is built on Him, it will stand, no matter what may come our way. This is true because I’ve experienced His faithfulness in my life.
Most of my life I have made everything so complicated, more than it ever should have been. I’ve pushed God to the side numerous times or put him on the backburner while I made a mess of my life. One of the things that separated me from the Lord was my filthy sin. Oh how I loved to sin day and night. I don’t really know why I decided to hit that meth pipe when I was 15. Maybe I thought it was fun and exciting. Just the thought of doing something different and going against the rules was exciting. Little did I know all the tragedy and darkness that would come in this long hard road.
I know the Lord has a plan for my life, and there have been many times when He has tried to get me out of the life I was living. But I wanted to do it my way and keep hitting rock bottom. Then there was the day something changed dramatically in my life. I felt different. Something wasn’t right. I remember crying in the bathroom on the floor looking at the pregnancy test that read positive. I was alone, homeless, and strung out. Seven months later my boyfriend and I got an apartment together. I was staying clean for the sake of my child. Soon after we got the apartment, my Mom passed away. When this happened it felt like someone had ripped my heart out or threw a baseball as hard as they could into my gut. My boyfriend was unsympathetic. He would leave me alone in the apartment for days while he was out having the time of his life and getting higher than a kite. We had no way to pay rent because he was supposed to be getting a job and supporting his family. What was I going to do when the baby got here? I was in the depths of despair. I came so close to ending it all. The grief and pain was so immense I can’t even put it into words.
I remember being alone and I was so depressed I couldn’t even get out of bed. I got a phone call from a woman who I know was sent by God. She said, “you don’t know me but I knew your Mother very well. God has really placed you on my heart. I wanted you to know you can’t do this on your own my dear.” She talked to me like she really cared about me. I began to break down and tell her my situation. Then she told me about a place called Life Services. It was a Christian maternity home for women in bad situations like me. I went there and told them everything. The maternity home was beautiful. It was beyond anything I would have ever expected. I felt a sense of peace when I walked in there. They were so loving and kind to me, which was something I hadn’t experienced in a long time. Normally it takes three to four weeks for them to except a girl into the home. They prayed about me and I moved in a week later. This was when I really gave my heart to the Lord. Although my heart was hard little did I know the amazing works He was about to do in me and continues to do everyday.
After I had the baby I had to move out because that was their policy. I had nowhere to go. I was afraid. Three days before I was supposed to leave, God provided once again. A woman named Jackie came to the maternity home. She knew a woman who worked there and was returning a book. Jackie and the house mom started talking and I moved in three days later. I found out later that a week before that Jackie had been praying about a roommate to help with expenses. Not only has Jackie helped me in so many ways but I have helped her too. That’s how God works. He knew what I needed more than I did when God sent Jackie to me. There are so many things I didn’t get as a child that I am getting now from this wonderful person.
These are only a few examples of how God always provides for me. He knows the desires of my heart and knows my needs. I not only believe God has got my back but, I walk it out and live for Him every day. I live my life with no worries. I have no reason to. I know He will always be there for me and never leave me astray. He loves me too much. When times get tough God is always there.
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