Who Cares

Xiaolei - St. Paul, Minnesota
Entered on November 23, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

“You are always better and can achieve more than what you’ve ever expected”. This is my personal credo, which I believe firmly all the time, whether I succeed or fail.

Five years ago after graduating from junior high school, I was admitted to the best high school in my province, standing out as one of the top 80 students among thousands of excellent competitors from all over the province. Praise came and I was so proud of myself. As soon as the new semester began, however, I found I was so ordinary and even fell behind others because almost everyone was the most brilliant one from their hometown. Immediately my confidence collapsed and a sense of anxiety started to accumulate. I felt a strong fear of falling behind and not performing as well as they did. I put great efforts into my studies, trying to get good grades on exams to prove that I was intelligent and excellent too. Nevertheless, no matter how hard I tried, what I achieved were just unsatisfactory grades and a negative, inferior attitude towards myself. Sometimes I couldn’t help doubting my intelligence and even regarding myself as a total failure.

That day finally came. I failed on a stereoscopic geometry exam. No one scolded me, no one made fun of me or looked down upon me, and no one even paid attention to me. Overwhelmed by a strong sense of frustration and failure, I went to the playground and began to run lap by lap, hoping to get relief from great depression. Finally, I stopped and couldn’t help weeping, sadly and helplessly. Why was everything so tough for me? Why did I try my best only to find situations got worse and worse? Suddenly I heard someone calling my name. It was my foreign teacher Kevin, a wise and warm-hearted young man from New Zealand. Noticing that I was weeping, Kevin sat beside me and asked what happened with great care. Somehow I thought he was a person that deserved to be trusted; I told him the whole matter and expressed my anxiety. After hearing my story, Kevin kept silent for a while and then asked, ”Becky, tell me, WHO CARES?”, with his deep blue eyes looking into mine directly, he continued, “Everyone is created differently and specially; it’s true that some people learn new things faster while other people learn more slowly, but who cares? Never worry about what opinions others may have of you and never doubt your ability. Remember, you are always better than what you’ve ever expected!”

Kevin’s words suddenly struck me and made me awake. I realized immediately the obstacles on my way to making progress were not the course itself, but the negative self-images and life attitude I had with myself. It is I myself who determines my destiny and way of life; only by concentrating on our task and sticking to our goal with great efforts, determination and enthusiasm can we realize our dream and reach our destination.

After that dreadful afternoon I gained my confidence again. I no longer wasted time doubting myself and began to study and live with a positive, passionate and relaxed attitude. At last I caught up with my classmates and did rather well with my studies.

“You are always better than what you’ve expected”, step by step I confirm it as my personal credo, which stimulates me to build a positive self-image and solid confidence deep in my mind, all the way to my life goal and final destination.