Decisions

Rae - Highland, California
Entered on November 22, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

How many times do you rethink the decisions that you made in the past? Do you really think it would change anything? Does it do you any good to dwell on the choices in the past? There are so many choices to make in life. People say that the traumatic things that have happened in their life stay with them forever. I believe that the big decisions and events remain, but they diminish in importance, so they ultimately form who one becomes.

One of the most important events happened a few years ago and has deeply changed my life. My sister and I were driving home after working in the mountains. My sister who had just graduated high school the week before took a turn too wide so that we hit the gravel, crossed the other lane of traffic, hit the embankment and flipped over. The only thing that saved our lives was the boulder that we hit. I can still feel the car flipping over, the sound of gravel rushing under the car, the sight of my sister, head cocked in a weird position unconscious with blood everywhere. I felt that I had just lost someone so important to me along with my unborn niece. I am the only one of my family that has the memories of that day to haunt me; my sister doesn’t remember a thing.

Things do loose importance in your life, but they are still there. I don’t think about the accident as much anymore, but I used to think about it all the time. When I used to think about it, I would tell myself that I could have prevented it. To save myself from an argument I decided to let my sister drive. I could have been the one behind the wheel and not taken that turn so wide. Now I just tell myself that it was Gods will that the accident happened, to my family to bring us closer to him. I know that God is in control at all times but it is so horrible to feel powerless especially nowadays when people say that they are in charge of their destinies and that God doesn’t exist. They can all say that but I know that God was in control that night, and he spared my sister and niece. Now she is married and living happily in Iowa. There was a choice my decision that night and everything worked out as God intended it to.

A big decision is career choices, who you will marry, family decisions, and how many children you want. Whatever you feel strongly about is a big decision. We all forge our own futures. Circumstances uncontrollable by you will always influence your life, it’s the way you deal with them that help shape the person you will become and later the decisions you make. I believe that the big decisions and events remain, but they diminish in importance, so they ultimately form who one becomes.