A wave of icy shock ran through my body. The words of confirmation echoed in my mind: Yes, we’re moving to Denver. Yes, yes, yes. I stared, frozen, across the dinner table straight into my dad’s blue eyes, which were tight and uneasy, and said one word before standing up and fleeing to my bedroom. “No.” How could I have not seen this coming? I should have known something was up, my parents all quiet, the whole family eating together around the glass table with the nice plates we hardly ever used. As I lay sprawled across my bed, sobbing my heart out, I began to think, what about Lindsay? Becky? Megan? Emily? Annie? Tricia? How will I survive? I’m supposed to be starting high school next year. Supposed to be going to Memorial High School in Houston, Texas, with all my friends. NOT in Denver, Colorado with NO friends. How can they do this to me? The harder the realization hit, the harder I wept. It took a few minutes for my dad to finally knock on my door, and when I fiercely shouted him away, he came in anyway and cradled me on the end of my unmade bed. I could feel him suppressing tears of his own as he witnessed my own despair, and I realized that this might have been the first time I had seen my own dad cry. How would I deal with all this emotion? It was like my head was pounding, my heart throbbing, my stomach busting with this horrible emotion, and there was no way to release it. This was the beginning of the worst night of my life.
I can remember that night perfectly, detail by detail, my exact thought process as I went through my agony. I can remember being so afraid, afraid of leaving my friends, of having to make new ones, of going to a foreign high school. All these things were change, and I rejected it so brutally that I would not let myself see past anything but that. I had never had to experience change ever in my life before, never had to conceive the idea of any life different than the one I was living now, the one I was completely happy with. The farthest I had ever moved was from one bedroom to another to make room for my brother when he was born. Change was what had me so shaken, and I did not see it then.
Looking back on that night, and the months following, I realized that I had needed change. I needed to experience something that shook my life up so much that I had to make some major changes. You cant go through life without change, because something’s always going to happen that will change you forever, and if you have never experienced how to deal with that, then that change will be your downfall. I don’t regret moving to Colorado. This I believe: Change is good.
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