For a long time I hated him. I could not bear to call him my father but at the same time I could not recognize what he did. I felt like he tore our family apart. I thought he took the easy way out, got a free pass out of jail and started a new life, in a new world; without me. I didn’t know how to handle the divorce and how he was starting a new life with a different family. When he left our house and my mother and I moved to a new house I felt incomplete. I was angry for a long time but could never be aware of my feelings because of my busy schedule. Forgiving him seemed impossible, but at the same time I wanted the time we had together to be nice, so I held my grudge on the inside.
It has taken me three years to even partially understand what his reasoning was for all of this harm he caused. I now realize it was for the better because he is happier where he is now. It would have caused more pain for all of us if he would have stayed and been unhappy. I believe that people have the right to be happy no matter what, even if it could drastically change the lives of others forever. If the person is causing grief to others around them, it is especially important that they do what makes them happy and end the suffering. I also believe that this is one step to forgiving him, which makes me feel happier to get this grudge out of my system. It is not an easy task to do, or to even understand. However; if a person realizes their unhappiness is affecting others, it is never too late.
I have gone from being completely against my father, to understanding his side of the story. I am beginning to forgive him because I realize that life is too short and no matter what, this is my family. I need to maintain and support that family because it’s the only one I’ve got. Part of that support is making sure that they, including myself, are all happy.
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