Waiting For the Other Shoe to Drop

Sarah - Aptos, California
Entered on November 18, 2008
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: change, setbacks

It’s late at night. A man is undressing before bed. He takes off his shoe and drops it on the floor. It makes a loud clunking noise. He realizes that this might disturb the woman who lives in the apartment below him so when he takes his other shoe off he puts it down quietly on the floor and gets into bed. Shortly after he hears a voice from the room below saying, “For God’s sake, drop the other shoe”.

When I was little I was enthralled with shoes, especially my grandmother’s. I eagerly awaited her arrival because I loved her and because I couldn’t wait to set my eyes on her matching shoes and hand bag. They were usually two-toned and often patent leather. She was very matchy- match which I know is not in fashion these days but it was in those days and I loved it. When I was older my grandmother loved to tell the story of the time she arrived at the airport so happy to see me. I ran up to her and the first thing I said to her was “Grandma, why don’t your shoes match your purse?” I still remember my disappointment. Another time I recall getting a pair of shoes and sleeping with them because I loved them so much. I didn’t wear them to bed. I slept with them next to me.

I was a little older when I started waiting for the other shoe to drop but that has been with me almost as long as my love of shoes. Somewhere along the way in my life bad things started happening and somewhere along the way I started expecting more bad things to happen. More bad things happened, and the cycle continued. I know some of you will want to give me a copy of The Secret right away or explain to me about The Law of Attraction. I’ll save you the trouble and tell you I don’t believe in any of that. I do believe we can make things worse by what we tell ourselves about what happens but I don’t really believe we have that much control over what actually happens.

I know that shoes will continue to drop on the floor above me and I know that I don’t have much say about that. But I’m trying to learn how to stop waiting for it. For some reason I have decided that it’s better to be prepared for the loud clunk on the floor. That some how that will make it easier to bear. The thing is you can’t really be prepared for bad things. Bad things are always bad, whether you know that they are coming or not.