Love at First Sight

Christi - Memphis, Tennessee
Entered on November 17, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: birth, love

Love at First Sight

I believe in love at first sight. I believe that my life began the moment my daughter exited my womb and drew her first breath.

As a college teenager, my life revolved around sorority parties, alcoholic beverages, and endless nights that turned into mornings. I found my self lacking any regard for my future, and merely living for the moment. It did not matter if my grades were failing, or if I was late to my mediocre job of waiting tables. My parents and siblings warned that my life was spiraling out of control, and to a point of no return. My total downfall was immanent.

This was my lifestyle the day I was told I would be giving birth to a child. I was nineteen years old, and entered a depression I was sure would never end. I went through all the normal questions; Why me? Why now? Why with him? My relationship with the baby’s father was long over, and marriage was out of the question. I had no money, no degree, and no way of helping myself, much less a child. As the months wore on, I began to resent the “thing” that was growing inside of me. Every pound I tacked on, every sleepless night, and hunger pain, made me hate this child even more. Most women are ecstatic during pregnancy, and I was nothing short of miserable. Up until the time of her birth, there was never a point when I was excited about the new addition to my life.

The morning of my induction had finally arrived, and I could not wait to have this alien removed from my body. I laid there for hours enduring the labor pains, wondering how I was going to raise a child I did not even want. And then the moment came, and I pushed her into the world. The instant I saw her face, I believed in love at first sight. The tiny fingers and little baby cry was all I needed. At that moment my entire world changed. I plastered the biggest smile on my face and knew right then that I would do whatever it takes to ensure this little bundle of joy would never suffer or go hungry, or ever feel unloved.

I found a full time job making decent money. I went back to school, excelling in every class I attended. I began a new journey, where success was the only road in front of me, with failure long gone from my view. I occasionally find my self in local watering holes, reminiscing with old friends on the good ole days. But, always find myself going back home to the true love of my life, my little angel Bailey, who saved me from total self destruction.