I Believe Life is Not Fair

Patricia - San Diego, California
Entered on November 17, 2008
Age Group: 50 - 65

I believe life is not fair! I read in the newspaper that a 6 year old girl who was watching cartoons was shot in the back of the head by a stray bullet. I saw an apartment building going up in flames and a woman clutching her baby could not get out. She had no choice but to leap to her death from the fourth floor. I believe there were a lot of loving, decent people who got swept up in the rushing muddy waters in New Orleans.

I believe we don’t always have control of our destiny. Many people who have dreams will never see them come true because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Life is not fair. I was one of 5 children and my dad was killed in an airplane crash. The jet he was flying caught on fire. My mother didn’t have the strength to go on so she drank herself to death. I had no control over that situation. Every bottle of vodka or bourbon that I could find, I would dump down the kitchen sink . When she learned what I did, she took a metal pancake turner and hit me in the back of the legs. I still have a scar to prove it. Another time she hit me so hard with a hair brush that it broke over my head. My mother never had any trouble meeting men in bars and bringing them home. One night the man that she had been dating stormed into the bathroom when I was getting undressed to take a shower. He was drunk and slurred something about what a stupid idiot I was. The next thing I knew, he hit me in the mouth with his fist. I ran down the street to a neighbor’s house with blood all over my face. The next day I went to school with a big fat lip. I was sitting in class when the vice principal came in and took me by the arm and dragged me to the office. Two policemen were waiting there for me. Next thing I knew I was in juvenile hall for a week. My mother reported me as an “incorrigible teenager.” She was trying to protect her boyfriend and put the blame on me. Later we found out that he was molesting my younger sisters. Life is not fair. You have no rights when you are 14.

Now I have a life of my own and I do have choices. Life may not be fair, but what can we do? Believe in yourself. Believe that there is some good in the world. Believe that you can make a difference in other people’s lives. There is always going to be injustice. And even though life is not fair, sometimes we have choices. I can choose love, not war. I believe I can choose. I can, I can, I can..