My parents tell me too look at the bigger picture, to not just only think about myself. What would happen if I did the exact opposite and instead looked into the smaller picture? If instead of living my normal everyday life, I looked at how I take things for granted? My hunch is that I would find happiness. I believe it is the simple things in life that make people happy.
Most people have seen love movies, heard about falling in love or actually experienced the feeling of true love. Going into my sophomore year I was not looking for anything serious. I was in high school party mode and I can guarantee I was not planning on changing anytime soon. I switched schools, met some new boys, and attended some parties. I had my many ups and downs, drama here and there, just the normal player weekly schedule.
I attended this one party where I met this boy but at the time at I had a boyfriend (his best friend). We talked; (every night for hours on end) called each other our best friends (Secret admirers), and behind his best friends (my boyfriends) back hung out. As every high school story goes with having more than one love interest, my boyfriend found out and you can figure out the ending. But it was not the ending for me, it was the start of what I thought would just be a cute little high school fling. Date for a few months become really close and that would be it that would be where it ended. To my surprise, we dated for weeks, then turning into months. And as the months went on the numbers got higher the more serious the relationship got.
Through the months, the relationship faced some problems. Family issues with not wanting me to date him. Oh, you can do better! You deserve better! Why are you settling?! You are only in high school! That was the everyday conversation between family members and friends. The times we got into trouble seemed to rack up rather fast. And the disapproving of our relationship turned into your not allowed to see him. You are not allowed to talk to him. Basically, I had to choose who I was born to love over who I was falling in love with. I did not listen, hopeful for things to just pass over. I tried my hardest to prove to my family he was the simple thing in my life that made me happy. I stopped being allowed to see him, I was grounded. No phone, no computer, no hang outs if any they were on lock down. But I did not care.
There was something unexplainable about our relationship that drove me insane. I could not live without him. He was all that was on my mind. I could sit and think and remember the exact way he last pressed his cold lips against mine or the way he would slide his warm hands over my cheeks and through my hair. The way his voice sounded when he would tell me he was in love with me, the sound of his laugh late at night on the phone. I was no longer in a cute little high school fling; I was playing in the big leagues.
I was in love with him. I wanted to spend every second of my day with him. Not being allowed to see him no longer bothered me. I did not care about the things I could be going out and doing if I would just end it with him. All of a sudden the only thing that mattered was making it work between us; he was all I cared about. The relationship with my family faded in and out, my mom and I did not see eye to eye anymore. But I still did not care. I would sit in my room and cry myself to sleep the majority of the nights each week. Thinking about how much I am sacrificing, how much happier I could be in life if I would just give in to my family, if I just lived another day of my life pleasing them, not me. Iʼ have never given in, but every time I start to just think the words, I do not want to do this.
I can not do this anymore. The emotional and personal damage it is doing is not worth it and I promise you, you will find another girl to be in love with. I get butterflies and my stomach starts to twist in every direction possible. Till this day I wonder how different my life would be if I could have given in. Over the time of our relationship I have come to the conclusion that being in love with someone does not grow more if you see them more often. It does not make your relationship stronger if you guys hang out every day and talk for hour, Granted a good relationship needs communication, but we have been dating for a year now and we have had little communication many times.
I believe that it is the simple things in life that make a person happy. Like being in love with someone, or sticking it through the hard times in life. I have gone through my life for months with no one on my side and I have found ways to be happy. With the majority the reasons I am happy coming from having something as simple as someone I can count on, someone that I trust with every secret and every detail of my life.
I believe that if we all looked past the artificial things in life we can be happy and truly mean it when we say it.
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