A Change Belief of Death

Mary - Brandon, Florida
Entered on November 13, 2008
Age Group: 50 - 65

A Changed Belief of Death

Well… I cannot consider definitions stirring in the essences of my soul Webster Dictionary defined for death. I consider death embarking on a new journey. I was afraid of death beginning at ten years of age, after experiencing a family ritual. Unfortunately the fear continued into adulthood. I attempted to avoid funerals unless it would emotionally tear out the heart of a love one; then I awkwardly attend, and avoided the casket.

Then death became a blessing, a renewal; a new spiritual adventure after my horrendous accident. Apparently life is adventure. Living through a death experience makes, everything appear different. Statistics claim most humans learn how to adjust. I was taught how diverse loss is. I woke up July 20th mentally groggy, and discovered unbelievable events, starting June 14, 1997. My high school love, friend who became my husband in 1968; the father of my children; also the savior who helped me pass an emotion rehabilitation of a complex childhood, died in the accident. I was not afforded time to feel loss or grief. I was informed I had an upper spinal trauma that swelled my brain steam. The trauma was commonly called, “a whiplash.” I was told it created a considerable amount of physical damage; physicians could not determine exactly what damage could be permanent. Physical therapy became my worst nightmare… painful workouts with no end in site. I was also told therapy would be necessary… forever. I needed so much more emotionally; but I adjust daily.

As years continued to pass in therapy, I heard, “it is up to you”… no problem I want to return to my physical ability before the horrific crash! Well, once again things did not go as planned. Several years later my mental abilities improved. A few of my body parts continued to rehabilitate, but nerve damage showed its ugly head.

Adjusting to the physical differences was a task. I attend the YMCA for Yoga to exercise my muscles, and Bloomingdale Regional Library Friends Program in Brandon Florida, to exercise my mind. I make every attempt to remain active, going to the programs available in the community to participate. It is wonderful these programs are available in the community!

I so proud to announce, I am on only two Pharmaceuticals daily. I was a walking pharmacy, thirteen pills every twenty-four hours while in a rehabilitation in 1998. Which produced a court battle; I am so tickled I won! Having a near death experience did change my views on death. It also created a different spirit in my heart toward life goals, and a dearer relationship with God.