PEACE THAT PASSES UNDERSTANDING…

Laurie - san bernardino, California
Entered on November 13, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

During life everyone must face disappointments and loss. Tragedies and unexpected change of plans can cause ones mind to wonder off and sink towards depression. I dealt with many losses in my life that I had to accept. Peace that surpassed all understanding is what I believe God gave me to get through the tough losses. It’s a peace of mind that allows your heart to rest. In my case I just recently got a divorce from my husband for abandoning his family. I lost my husband to selfishness. My two girls lost a father. I was upset and ready to give up because my mind and heart were in two different decisions. I lost sleep, patience with my children, and to love became a hopeless idea.

Getting married is a great life accomplishment. Saying vows and joining lives together with someone you love , is part of the prosperous dream. But to have your whole hope for the future as a family change hurts the very core of a person. My ex made that decision to only love and cherish himself for richer or poorer. And he didn’t acknowledge his children that he left behind. I had to accept that my marriage was over, continue to provide the needs of my two girls, and I tried everything from self-indulgement to therapy.

Searching for advice did not help either. With some I would receive the “you deserve better, just move on with your life,” speech and from older voices I heard, “stick it out for the sake of the children, in time it will get better.” With both of those thoughts in my mind, I slept even less, cried more; and depression had taken a toll on me physically. I needed peace…… so I went God.

After all that fighting it my way, in the end all I had to do was pray. I prayed and cried out for help and with out having to wait long, it came. Peace had taken over my mind, body and soul. I was laughing again, playing with my girls in the yard and looking forward to celebrating family events. Even though my circumstances didn’t change my attitude for life changed drastically. From a family of four that decreased to three, I didn’t feel so bad anymore. I didn’t care, I didn’t hate him and I didn’t lose anything. My anger turned into joy and my heart had been restored.

God’s peace was unbelievable to me some days. People would ask how did I make it through and I had no exact explanation. Hope, faith, and love held up. It gave me the energy to play two roles to my children. I love even more now without the fear of getting hurt because I know I’m loved regardless. This peace God gave me carries me from day to day. That is what I believe.