I have a pair of glasses I bought for one dollar that I wear in my room when the door is closed. I don’t actually need glasses, so the magnification hurts my eyes whenever I accidentally glance through them. To protect myself I mount them carefully on the bottom of my nose or I plunk them on top of my head so that when I happen to walk by my mirror I see myself; Rebekah Berlin, harried librarian, or madly intelligent physicist, depending on the outfit I am wearing. The other thing that happens when I see myself is I get (to use the technical term) a bad case of the giggles. If there’s a trick to laughing out loud when you’re alone and not looking totally insane, I would love to hear it. As it is I live my life about three cackles short of a crazy cat lady and while it’s not quite enough for my roommates to intervene, it is enough to make them wonder. Even if I cared deeply about not worrying them, I don’t think I could curb the amount I make myself laugh because, I believe I am delightful.
Believing I am delightful is not a form of arrogance, a belief that I am somehow better than the people around me. Believing I am delightful means that I can have a simply enchanting time with just… me. Believing yourself to be delightful is about adoring what makes you yourself. It is about half kept secrets that keep things spicy. People love surprises and the more quirky things I do just for myself that they discover, the more they enjoy time with me (time with me which Lord knows I already treasure).
So, I sign my emails with job titles like Professional Sword Swallower or M.D. though unfortunately the only employment I currently have is selling shoes. I take hip hop and bollywood dance classes even though I am about as white and scrawny as they come and I have a fake tattoo on my body at all times. I go to the store for the sole purpose of looking and laughing at the greeting cards by myself and when I don’t have something pressing to do I love to google image search adjectives and then change people’s computer backgrounds to the funniest match without telling them.
Believing you are delightful means never being bored. More importantly, if you believe you are delightful you probably think that everyone else is too. It makes you want to stumble on their saucy parts and find out what it is that “gets them tickled”. I guess believing I am delightful makes me believe that my time with anyone, myself or someone else, is a treat. Frank Sinatra puts it well in his song, “I Get a Kick Out of You.” Whenever I hear it, the thing I have always wanted to say to him is, “frankly Frank, I get a kick out of me too.”
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