THIS I BELIEVE that saying nothing can say the most. Over the past couple years I have learned through fights with my mom that saying nothing can often times say the most and hurt the worst.
It would be easy to say that when I was younger, my mom and I had a typical mother-daughter relationship. She attended all of my tea parties, and never resisted to eat the cakes I made with my Easy-Bake Oven. Through soccer, basketball, swimming, jazz, ballet, and tap she never failed to come to every practice, game, and recital, offering her love and support. As I grew older, and my self-esteem became somewhat vulnerable, my mom was there to lift me up, making me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. When my first crush left my heart bruised, she was there to tell me that no boy was good enough for me anyway. My mom is my biggest fan, and she is and always has been there for me.
However, with each birthday, the time spent with my mom becomes less and less. Our mom and daughter time has changed from our daily tea parties, to whenever our schedules make it convenient. Our comparable personalities have made it easy to butt heads every now and again. And as I have grown up, simple disagreements have evolved into harmless fights, and those harmless fights have evolved into fights that have left hearts damaged, feelings hurt, and a relationship that has dwindled a little more each time.
I have learned that saying nothing is what causes hearts to bear the deepest cuts, feelings to be hit the hardest, and eyes to drop the most tears of pain, emptiness, and sorrow. When my mom and I get into arguments, or we push one another’s buttons, I usually result to just staying quiet, expecting that the argument will pass. I give my mother the silent treatment hoping for the best, but in reality I’m only making the situation worse. I leave her with no way to understand how I’m feeling, and this only makes her just as upset as I am. Thus, she too becomes quiet and feels no need for words. This lack of communication hurts so much more than conquering my prideful impulse, and just expressing my feelings; saying I’m sorry if need be.
Saying nothing leads the other person to believe that I have no interest in engaging in any type of conversation with them. By just being my mother, my choosing not to talk to her brings an almost unbearable amount of pain. Through all of the tears my mom and I have shed, I have found that my belief is absolutely true. And in finding this, to build a better relationship with my mom, acting upon this fault of mine is my obligation. Most importantly, I have learned that to treat someone in this way whom I love so dearly, and keep so close to my heart, is completely unacceptable.
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