Discovering Myself

Stefan - Houston, Texas
Entered on November 10, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

When I was fourteen years old, I became a different person. Whether it was for better or worse I couldn’t tell you, all I know is that it happened. My old interests, values, and beliefs were gone, seemingly overnight, and for the first time in my life, who I defined myself as a human being was something I struggled with. Before it had been easy, I was on the school basketball team, which made me feel like I was a part of something, I had a special skill not everyone else did, and provided a label I could attach to myself. Somewhere along the way, however, I began to think that defining who I was as a person as someone who throws an orange ball through a hoop wasn’t such a good idea, and began to drift away from sports.

Starting freshman year I was searching for an identity, and luckily found one in music. It came into my life in a very unassuming way, I basically learned how to play the guitar out of boredom, but turned into so much more. As playing the guitar consumed more and more of my time, the better I got at it, and the less I cared about what other people thought of me and more about what I thought of myself. I found self worth manifested in the ability to create and play music, something no one could take away from me. I found something I could attach myself to that was bolted down and defined by my own terms. I found something that I could claim as my own, and that made me unique and special in a world that wanted to define and figure me out. To me, the beauty of music is that it can be whatever I want it to be. There doesn’t have to be a point or a story I’m trying to tell, its just pure emotion. I would rather watch a movie with no plot that makes me feel something new and exciting than one that is overly preachy and has a definite beginning, middle, and end. No one can tell me I’m right or wrong in my views and tastes in music, because what others think and believe has no bearing on how I interpret and create certain things.

So as time passes, and trends come and go as people lose interest in the shallow, organic hobbies human beings as a whole seem to enjoy, I will always have music. I believe music is sacred, it has given me so much, something to feel connected to, a way to express myself, so many friends and opportunities, and all it asks for in return is an open mind.