“Nothing gold can stay.” Everything comes to an end. Things change, a tree matures and then collapses in death; a sapphire twinkles but dulls with wear; the winter’s frosty air later gives way to spring. I believe that everything is temporary. What I mean is life will change. Even the most permanent things in life, like death, are not quite as concrete as we are led to believe.
I heard it, but the news didn’t register. She was dead? Whoever it was that decided who lived and died must’ve made a clerical error on their spreadsheet. After the death of a close friend the year felt like a field of sludge. Waking up felt like I was being sentenced to a life of misery, but as hours turned to days, and days to weeks, and weeks turned to months, the pain slowly dissipated. I never thought the gnawing in my stomach would leave, but grief changes. The world continues to rotate even at the loss of a life.
Galloping around the arena with dust kicking up all around me, I was lost to the world. I had created a world to live in that included a horse, a saddle, and me. At the ripe age of nine I had declared my love for horses. There was a feeling of complete freedom. The feeling spread through me like wild fire. But at some point during the next nine years, it abandoned me. The lightness of my self-created world was replaced with shackles. I desperately clawed away from riding, as if it was a cancerous tumor. At the age of 18 I cut my ties to horseback riding. The world continues to move even as happiness ends.
Every person, animal, and inanimate is made of matter. Even after death there is life. Particles decompose to make up valuable soil, which is used to bring life back into the world. Death cannot escape the grasp of change.
With this belief, my outlook on life is brighter. Bad experiences and even fights are easier to deal with. For five weeks I spent my summer with a girl I couldn’t stand. To say that we didn’t “click” would be an understatement, but I tried to keep a positive attitude. Remembering that the situation was only temporary also allowed me to learn my personal limits. Most people don’t like to fight. I absolutely despise it. When people fight they say things they don’t mean, but in the heat of the moment they are willing to scream anything to make the other party hurt. In the middle of the yelling, tears, or silence I try to remember that this is just one part of life; it will change. I remember to stay calm.
Life goes on. As the leaves fluctuate color, the gold stops glimmering, and summer ends in chilly nights; I remember that everything is transitory. The pangs of grief, the slipping of happiness, and even the permanence of death, all lose their tangibility to the ticking of time. The laundry list of complex emotions that humans feel is never ending, but each emotion comes to an end in order for another to begin.
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