Call Off the Search

Marina - Crystal lake, Illinois
Entered on November 2, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

This I believe; I believe that no one ever truly finds themselves. We live in a society where we all strive to understand our own emotions and purpose, a society that advertises the idea of finding bliss through “self acceptance”. I believe that this cannot be done, for we human beings never complete the process of growth. We analyze and evaluate situations and priorities for our entire lives, based on interactions with others who do the same. While I do believe that everyone can find happiness in their lives, I do not believe it is tied to self-discovery at all.

It’s funny to me that people think it is a pessimistic nature to ignore the idea of self realization, for the infinite search is one of the most exciting and promising ideas in existence. I would hate to think that someday, when I’m old and wise, I’ll sit down and think of myself as a “complete person”. What does that even mean? That there is o more searching? That the unknown is completely irrelevant? It may just be my naïve teenage mind speaking, but I believe that the unknown is truly the only promise kept. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, and somehow the fact that I’ll never know is comforting; the unknown is the most consistent concept. People come and go and interests fade, but I know that they will continue to do so because the unknown is ironically predictable. The search for meaning in life is a lot like “the unknown”; no one wants to admit that beneath their fool proof plan is the anxiety of failing or never going anywhere.

I also believe that when dealing with self-discovery, people tend to only discover what they want to. I call myself an avid English student, not only because I am infatuated with the language and literature, but also because I have discovered that I am a “C+” science student. Which one sounds better? Exactly. Other discoveries include a love for theater (a failure at athletics), a good sense of humor (a “good sense” of never taking things seriously), and a love of creativity (a loathing of logic). Self-discovery is finding the good in oneself and hoping that others don’t see the reverse.

My main reason for skepticism of “self discovery” is that we never stop changing. While some changes are minor, they illustrate a new side of us that we didn’t know moments before. We never figure out who we are, simply because we never are anyone. We live in the present and take life day by day While I am supposedly in my “adolescent growth period”, a time for my young mind to thrive before big business and divorce take sit all away, I don’t understand how anyone can even grasp the idea of labeling themselves “discovered”. I believe that we can accept ourselves and we can be content with doing so, but acceptance is far easier than discovery; acceptance is condoning someone else’s ideas, but discovery is completely personal. It drives you to make up your own mind and form your own opinions on the world around us.

I believe that no one ever truly finds themselves because of life’s complexities. Not only are we trying to find ourselves, but also our lovers and family and friends. No one ever has, or ever will, make this discovery solely because it is not a discovery, but more so an endless journey.