God doesn’t close doors without opening windows

billy - gainesville, Florida
Entered on October 30, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

Billy Hardaway

People often let their head hang when something bad happens. Pessimism. That’s not how I look at it. I believe that God doesn’t close a door without opening a window,

I used to sit and simply ask “why?”I was always blind to the light of things; I suppose was a pessimistic person. It was never a good trait to have in time of desperation or in a bad situation.

As I matured, I realized that God doesn’t make things happen for no reason at all. Even if it seems like it. It has taken me a good while to learn how to cope with things appropriately, depending on the situation. Life is too short to ask “why”.

One main thing that has made me realize this is my dad being diagnosed with cancer this last summer. Everything that has occurred because of this is has been some of the scariest things I have witnessed. Seeing my dad on breathing tubes and eating tubes after a surgery was something I will never forget. With everything going on, my mother would break down here and there. One night she’d be silent. The other she would be crying on my shoulder as I reassured her about everything, when in truth my mind was numb from everything, I knew that my mother wasn’t going to take this well, so I told myself its time to grow up and be optimistic about this all.

After a while, my mom seemed mad; mad at the world. I would talk to her about everything, trying to lighten up her mood. She was having trouble coping with this all. We would talk about everything, but when God came up in the discussion, she would say things like “it seems as if God turned His back and just forgot about us”. She wasn’t doing well…seeing my dad go through chemotherapy and radiation was taking a major toll on her.

I searched for reason. In everything. My mom was crying more and more. I felt like hopeless and helpless at times. I finally realized something one day though. With my dad getting cancer, my family has come together to help, demonstrating how strong we can be. Family members, who we hadn’t always gotten along with, were calling us asking if there was anything they could do to help. My sister flew all the way from California with her new born baby just to come help out.

Even though this was a traumatic event in my life, it has taught me how important family is and that there is no such thing as a shadow without light. I no longer ask why. I no longer hold my head down. I let God make the rules, and I play the game. In other words, God has shown me that even though there are things that He does that seem bad, if you search deep enough in them, there is good.