losing a best friend

Kimmi - Remer, Minnesota
Entered on October 29, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: death

What happens when the things in your nightmares become your real life? When you can’t just wake yourself up and the problem is gone? When this became my reality I didn’t know what to do. I was a child with a family of three other siblings, a mother, and a father. All of my siblings were older than me by five years and more. This made it so I as always looking up to someone for how to get my homework done, or with my everyday problems that an eleven year old can have, but there one thing that nobody could help me out with, not even person I looked up to the most, because that’s where the problem was.

My father was my hero. He was the strongest person I knew who had the softest touch that I had ever seen. He had a problem and became very sick. He had developed lung cancer. This turned my world upside down still ill this very day. As I child I watched my father go to the hospital several times for chemotherapy, he lost his hair and one of his lungs, and I had lost my best friend.

I remember to this day of what had happened the day he left. I woke up to find his laying motionless on the couch like many days before, I gave him his medicine through a syringe hoping that he would take swallow instead of choke. I had done this for many days before but this day had changed and was nothing like the others. I needed a break to get away from the pain so I went away to get some space that was well needed after watching my own flesh and blood waste away to nothing on my living room couch when there was nothing I could possibly do to make him better. On my break away my heart stopped my mouth got dry, hands shaking when I heard a knock on the door and found it to be two of my sisters. They came in and asked to take me in private, this became one of the hardest moments of my life knowing what was next to come. Tears rolling down their faces brought tears to mine. They explained “ we were visiting with a few when the room got quiet, we heard him take his last breath” this made the tears fall as all I could go was grab on and not let go.

My brother and I were hit the hardest he was our father and our best friend. He was a victim of lung cancer it took his life and a chunk of mine. People don’t realize what can happen and who it affects when you light up that cigarette and take that first puff, weather you’re in the car with relatives or out on the side walk with strangers. Your not only hurting yourself but the people around you.