I believe in Me

carrie - kingsport, Tennessee
Entered on October 28, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

I Believe in Me

I believe in myself. It has just taken almost thirty years and a lot of trials and tribulations but I finally believe in me. In the past six years, I managed to lose my job, go flat broke, get my vehicle repossessed, and worst of all becoming addicted to methamphetamines. It sounds like a lost cause I know. I did not care what happened to me or anyone else, life was an inconvenience.

Nevertheless, with the bad comes the good. Also within this period, I have managed to regain my job, return to college, have enough money in the bank to buy a new car, and most importantly, I have been clean from my addiction for five of those six years. Thanks to God, my sister and myself. She stayed right by me, even taking my cars keys not letting me leave, for fear of where I might be going. She was my angel in the hell I had created. Being locked into vacancy gave my mind time to clear and think rationally. It was then I realized that I wanted to change my life for the better. Somewhere inside a small sliver of hope returned. I no longer held life in contempt; everyday is lived to the fullest. Without actions in life, we cease to exist as beings.

I believe that when life seems it is darkest that a light can be found. I believe that when I finally hit rock bottom it is then I truly learned from my mistakes. I believe that when I feel as if I cannot hold anymore I can carry twice as much. Life is a gift, given to us to do what we wish. Each of us possess the power to do good, but free will ensures we always have a choice. Even if that means making multiple mistakes, I can never run out of second chances.

I believe that I will always be held accountable for my decisions. The consequences that come with these decisions are the lessons I must learn, to understand what is right and what is wrong. I believe I must have faith in the good when going through the bad. I believe that if I can find my way out of the dark others can too. When I lost myself, I finally found God. He gave me the strength to see that my life has meaning and purpose. He restored hope in my life and in me. That is the great thing about hope it is given to everyone, to use as needed. Having the hope to believe in who we are and learning to love ourselves unconditionally is the ultimate gift life can give. This I believe.