This I Believe

Tomacena - Parsons, Kansas
Entered on October 28, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: love

Love equals Happiness

Everyone has his or her own definition for a word depending on how that specific word make a person feel like the word “love.” A strong affection or liking for someone or something is Webster’s New World Dictionary definition, but to me love means the doing and caring for someone out of respect for that special someone in one’s life. Being seventeen grown-ups still consider me a child, young pup, definitely too young to know what live is, less alone experience it. I strongly believe that only I know what I’m feeling and how strong of an affection I have for another person not anyone else. As long as I say and believe that I am in love and happy then that is what should matter not the fact that I’m “only” seventeen.

Since I fell in love, I sometimes find myself daydreaming in class, doodling on notebooks and graded papers even humming the dumbest love songs at the most awkward moments. Some days I feel so light and free like I could float the four blocks it takes me to get to school all the way to my first hour class back row seat desk, but instead of sitting I feel as though I am hovering over my chair almost as if I am meditating. Some nights when I’m in bed my pillows feel like marshmallows beneath my weightless feeling head as I sleep.

I can remember the exact day I knew I was truly in love. It was Saturday November 24, Thanksgiving weekend I had previously made plans to go out of town to Pittsburg, Kansas with my boyfriend to go to the mall to shop, have dinner at Applebee’s, then go catch a movie all that day before, and since that’s what I wanted my boyfriend agreed to take me. That Saturday morning my boyfriend called my upset about a problem his family was having and how he wasn’t sure if he would still be able to take me to Pittsburg that day. The “old” me would have said, “too bad we’re going,” but instead the “new” me that was realizing how much I really cared about him told him it was ok, and that we could do whatever he wanted to do instead; trying to make him feel a little. I knew that watching comedy movies at my house wouldn’t be near as fun than going out of town shopping, but since that was what he wanted nothing else mattered. As the time grew closer for him to come I had started to feel my heart start to race. Even though I am the only one who could feel myself getting nervous, I still felt embarrassed as I sat on the coach trying to relax and at the same time figure out why I was so nervous; it wasn’t like it was our first date or anything heck it wasn’t even a real date. When he arrived he gently tapped on my glass screen door that has black metal trimming around the edges. After I opened the door he quickly apologized for not being able to take me out like he had said he would and then handed me a big light purple vase filled with red roses followed by a kiss, but not just any kiss. For the first time in my whole seventeen years I saw fireworks. I remember how lost for words I was as we stood in the front door of my living room. From that moment on everything about him and our relationship seemed so right and happy and I knew then that there was a stronger attraction I felt towards him; I was in love with him. It wasn’t just from him bringing me flowers it was more of the thought that mattered most. He had also somehow changed me for the better, instead of me thinking the world had to revolve around me all the time, I finally realized that the world did not and because of that I find myself not only putting him before myself, but others as well which I believe also makes me a better and happier person.