All of a sudden it hit me, the lesson made sense. Debbie was talking earnestly about
needing a guide, something to turn to when you need advice. I was sitting in a softly
padded chair while she talked, pacing excitedly in our newly painted youth room.
Two slow weeks later I was about to uncover a mental breakdown. I needed answers
of: Why am I here? Does anyone care? Can anyone understand? I was halfway through
middle school, still naïve to the world. My friends were laughing at me, making
destructive comics to criticize each other, my parents didn’t understand, and my teachers
tortured me with too much homework. Mentally, I was falling apart. Then I found them.
The answers I was looking for. They were right in front of me the whole time. In my
Bible. In John 3:16 For God so loved the world He gave his one and only Son that
whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.
The need for answers overpowered me as I searched through the Bible. Then I found
them. Every single one that I needed. Isaiah 40:30-31 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their
strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will
walk and not be faint.
It was cutting through my life, sorting it out; God’s love letter to all who read. I believe
in a double-edged sword. As it says in Hebrews 4:12; For the word of God is living and
active, sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and
spirit; joints and marrow; it judges thought s and attitudes of the heart.
All of a sudden my life had meaning. I wasn’t a worthless kid. I was someone worth
dying for; at least God thought so. By reading the Bible, I had uncovered the very
presence of the one who created the universe. His words spoken through mere men. The
love overflowed through the pages and into my empty heart, enough to overflow it.
What would Jesus do now has a brand-new meaning to me. The promises in the Bible
are made by a loving God. He didn’t turn back on his promises before, why would he
now? The Bible is my very own handbook for life. I can still make my own choices, but I
have to suffer the consequences too.
If God would die for me and you, then why is life not worth living? The Bible clearly
recounts what pain he went though when he could have very easily gotten out of it. It also
tells of the persecution the disciples went through after the resurrection, even though they
didn’t even follow Him to the cross. Who would die for a lie? The double-edged sword
that I believe in is all truth. And it changed my life forever.
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