I think that too many people in this world live each day of their lives knowing and expecting tomorrow to be there. They go through each day worrying about all the things they should have done yesterday, instead of enjoying the weather. They worry about all the people who treated them poorly, instead of treating others with kindness. They worry about their mistakes and successes each day, instead of enjoying time with family and friends. And they do it each day not because they’re smart, dumb, black, white, male, or female. They do it because they have tomorrow. I would know, I am one of those people no matter how hard I try. I believe that life should be lived worry free.
The morning of May 11, 2008, for me was just like any other morning. My family, excluding my father, was in the van headed to my grandmother’s house for Mothers Day. I was in the passenger seat of our van: traveling down the highway, listening to my mom ramble, playing on my cell phone, and worrying over a mistake I had made earlier that weekend. In one split second, I went from worrying about something I had no control over to wondering why my ears were ringing and flooded with screaming. Another car going about 45 mph had pulled out and hit the left side of our van, which was traveling about 60 mph. What had I even been concerned about before? Now, I had the overwhelming instinct to ignore all the screams from my mom and sister; and, instead worry about getting my family out of our now smoking van. I first pulled my sister out of the shattered rear window and then pulled my mom from the unrecognizable driver side door. I then made sure my brother, Travis, had gotten my brother, Chase, who is mentally challenged, out safely too. As the paramedics and ambulances arrived, I sat there in utter disbelief and shock as I watched my mom and sister taken away in stretchers on separate ambulances. I thought to myself, “I am so selfish. Instead of loving on my family and living life with them, I am focusing on things I cannot even change. They… we could have been gone right then and there”.
That day changed me. I use to think I lived my life worry free, but I just didn’t, and I still worry each and every day. Surprisingly, I try to remind myself of that terrible day because it reminds me that I am not invincible. I am not invincible, and neither are you. I am not guaranteed spending time with my family and friends tomorrow. I am not even guaranteed waking up tomorrow. I came to the conclusion while sitting in the hospital praying next to my mom and sister that terrible day, which they and we are all fine now, that to live life restrained by worries isn’t really living at all.
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