This I Believe
Ever since I was old enough to hear the truth, my mom started to tell me the stories. My dad unexpectedly passed away when I was 9 months old and absolutely no one saw it coming. My mom tells me that only at first did she struggle for a sense of closure with him. Usually when a death of a loved one is so sudden. family and friends left behind struggle with the acceptance of the loss too. So these stories are about how my mom was an exception to this hardship. And because of them, I believe in life after death.
My father, Dan, was an anesthesiologist. He died at work one Sunday night before coming home from work. After all the impact and tears, some business had to be taken care of now that he wasn’t going to be seeing his patients scheduled for the following day. The other anesthesiologist at the hospital needed his patient’s charts with their information that he had worked up for the next morning. Well, Dr. Mclean came to our house and was looking every where, asking my mom where Dan could have possibly placed these files. My mom had no idea what they even looked like, none the less where they could be found. Then according to her, she heard his voice tell her “look on my clipboard”. The irony in this is the fact that my mom had no idea he even had a clipboard. And what do you know, that’s exactly where the charts were.
After this, Dan had one more conversation with my mom. Like I mentioned before, having a sense of closure is the hardest part of losing someone you love. The last, and most important thing he said to her was a few nights later. She was sitting in our living room, holding me and reading a book to my older sister. All of a sudden, she felt his presence next to her. Then just like before, she heard his voice as if he was in the same room. This time what he said was “I’m sorry Suz”, the nickname he had for my mom. As upsetting as it was, hearing his apology, and knowing that he understood her pain, she was able to forgive him and the whole situation.
I wish I was as lucky as my mom and could have gotten to know my dad and love him. Unfortunately though, none of it was in my control. Even so, I miss him just as much as my mom does, but I lack that father figure in my life. When I think of these times, and hear my mom repeat these stories every once in a while, I long for a similar experience. Maybe one day Dan will have something important to tell me. Whether it’s while I’m still alive, or after I pass and get to be with him in Heaven. But I know that one day will come, because I believe in life after death.
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