A Better Tomorrow
I used to bottle up my feelings and just let them fester up inside me until I couldn’t take it anymore. And when it got to the point where I couldn’t handle the situation, I lashed out at other; specifically my loved ones. I have learned different methods recently, however. I believe that music gives people hope for a better tomorrow.
About two weeks ago, my boyfriend of six and a half months broke up with me. He had come home from St. Edwards University for the weekend and we went out to breakfast to celebrate our six month anniversary. Breakfast was great! We got to catch up on everything that had been going on with us, and I really enjoyed myself. On the way home he surprised me by saying. “You know I love you, right?” I was confused; it was so unexpected. When we got to my house, we sat in his car and continued talking. We talked about college, school, the CD I had sent him and his sister’s wedding. All the while we were holding hands. Then he said, “Brooke, I love you.” And of course I assured him that I felt the same way, but I sensed something was wrong. So I asked him, “Cody, what’s wrong with you today?” He told me that he had been thinking about our relationship a lot lately. He said that he didn’t see us getting married; he didn’t see the relationship advancing because he is Catholic and I am LDS. I immediately dropped his hand and sat in silence. “Please say something,” he begged. I didn’t know what to say to that, I was using all the strength I had to keep myself from crying. “I just don’t want to hurt you worse a year or two down the road.” I couldn’t take it anymore. I got out of the car and started walking to the front door, but he cut off my path. He gave me a hug, tried to kiss my cheek, and told me he still loved me. I ran inside; the second I was out of his sight, I burst into tears.
Over the next two weeks, music became my life; my savior. Cody was always on my mind. I knew he had moved on, but for some reason I couldn’t get over him. I shouldn’t have had any problems considering how bad he had hurt me. Then a couple days ago, I was listening to the radio and this song called “So what” by Pink came on. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I listened to “So, so what I’m still a rockstar, I got my rock moves, And I don’t need you, And guess what, I’m having more fun, And now that we’re done, I’m going to show you tonight, I’m alright, I’m just fine” that night; probably too many. But as I listened to the song, it helped me understand that I will live and I don’t need a guy to be happy in life; there is always tomorrow.
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